Berean Bible Church, Edgewater, Florida – Pastor Doug Dodd s.b.g.
This is to be a series of clear messages on the matrimonial relationship authorized, instituted,
and ordained by God. In this first lesson we will look at the issue of headship. Headship is not to
be confused with leadership. Headship is a divinely ordained position while leadership must be
earned. It is of critical importance that this distinction be noted by those going into or already
in such a relationship because keeping these two terms separate can set the proper attitude
necessary for a proper, successful relationship.
Headship
Headship not leadership…
In the book of Genesis God institutes, ordains and authorizes the institution of marriage and the
home.
(FYI - Webster's 1828 Dictionary IN'STITUTE, v.t. [L. instituo; in and statuo,to set.]
1. To establish; to appoint; to enact; to form and prescribe; as, to institute laws; to institute
rules and regulations.
2. To found; to originate and establish, as to institute a new order of nobility; to institute a
court.
3. To ground or establish in principles; to educate; to instruct; as, to institute children in the
principles of a science.
4. To begin; to commence; to set in operation; as, to institute an inquiry; to institute a suit.
5. To invest with the spiritual part of a benefice or the care of souls.)
In The Beginning God Institutes …
A. Marriage
Gen 2:7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his
nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. 8 And the LORD God planted a garden
eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed. Gen 2:15 And the LORD
God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. Gen
2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an
help meet for him. 19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the
field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and
whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. 20 And Adam gave names to
all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there
was not found an help meet for him. 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon
Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And
the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and
brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh
of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man
leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one
flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
God forms man and places him eastward in Eden to dress and keep His garden. Adam does not have a
counterpart (help meet) suitable for him. God creates all kinds of animals and brings them to Adam
to see what he would call them. Can you image the scene? Maybe God was sitting on a big rock and
dipping his hand down into the dirt and forms a critter, breaths on it and "poof" out pops an
animal! Adam, he says, What do you think this is? Adam says… that is a hippopotamus! This goes on
for quite a while and yet there was no help meet (counterpart: Webster's dictionary) was found for
Adam.
God then puts Adam to sleep and from Adam God TAKES a rib from Adam from which he
then makes a woman then brings her to the man.
He Takes… The Rib Of Man
He Makes The Woman … From The Man
He Brings The Woman .. To The Man
There is order here.
There is design here.
There is purpose here.
The woman is made of man and God then brings her TO the man to be his help meet.
Webster's 1828 Dictionary: MEET, a. [L. convenio.] Fit; suitable; proper; qualified;
convenient; adapted, as to a use or purpose.
B. The Home or Family
Gen 1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them
have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over
all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27 So God created man in
his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the
earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the
air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
God institutes not only marriage but the home or family, which we will comment on later in this
study under the heading of domestics.
Next…
God Establishes An Order Of Authority And Responsibility "In Matrimony"
Because of a failure of many NOT understanding the difference between Headship and
Leadership in the matrimonial relationship I will be repeating the following statement several
times in this study.
" Those who have "freely chosen" to take the position as wife in a matrimonial relationship are
to yield, resign or surrender to the power, will or authority of their husband as if he were the
Lord Jesus Christ."
Headship is a position that is given to the man, again, in the matrimonial relationship.
Leadership, on the other hand must be earned. More on leadership in a later study.
A. The Woman Was Made For The Man
IN Matrimony - as we have seen.
B. The Headship Of The Man IS Matrimonial
But In Christ They Are Equal.
We will now look at the passage in 1Corinthians where Paul deals with headship in the matrimonial
relationship. Headship does not mean that the man is superior and the woman is inferior it means
that God has an ordained structure in that relationship.
1 Cor 11:1 Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. 2 Now I praise you,
brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered
them to you.
In the next verse Paul lays out the authority structure in headship in the matrimonial
relationship.
1 Cor 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the
woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
There are three headships brought up in this verse:
First - The head of every man = Christ
Second - The head of the woman = her husband (context is matrimony not nature)
Third - The head of Christ = God
This order begs a question the answer of which will cause us to begin to strike a balance in the
matrimonial relationship.
First there is a distinction between the divine and the mortal. God & Christ and man and woman.
The question we must ask is this:
Which person of the Godhead here is inferior? Hummm?
Is the Lord Jesus Christ inferior to God the father? NO, he is not. By way of contrast then can we
ask who is superior in the matrimonial relationship? If God and Christ are equal in NATURE and they
are, then we must draw the conclusion that the man and woman are equal in NATURE.
What then is the issue? The issue is headship. God has placed the man at the head and the woman
willingly submits herself, in matrimony, to her husband, just as the Lord Jesus Christ submits
himself to the headship of God the father!
Now Paul sets up an illustration as to why this is important. The issue here is authority and a
willingness to submit to it (we will deal with the word sub-mit shortly… so hang on).
1 Cor 11:4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.
Why? Because of verse 7! He is made in the image of God. Now the covering in the passage is hair
not doilies. And the illustration is not so important as the principle involved.
The principle is structure in the matrimonial relationship.
1 Cor 11:5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered
dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. 6 For if the woman be
not covered (under authority) , let her also be shorn (bald): but if it
be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered (or under
authority).
In this illustration it is shown that the woman is to act under the authority of her husband (or
father… maybe another lesson at another time J ). In this illustration the woman who acts apart
from this God ordained authority structure would be distinguished by displaying a bald head! That
way everyone would know that she was not under the authority of her husband or father.
1 Cor 11:7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of
God: but the woman is the glory of the man. 8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the
man. 9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
The woman is to be under authority because she is the glory, and therefore lesser in glory, of the
man. Paul now agrees with God in Genesis where he institutes the matrimonial relationship by saying
that the woman was created for the man. She is to be his counterpart or help meet.
This next verse is very telling because it deals with authority on a much larger scale.
1 Cor 11:10 For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.
Do you know of any angels that removed themselves from the protection and authority of God
almighty?
When the matrimonial relationship is working properly it reflects the nature and character of the
Godhead and when it does not it reflects the nature and character of the fallen angels. I find this
very interesting for two reasons:
One: Eph 3:9 And to make all men see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the
beginning of the world hath been hid in God, who created all things by Jesus Christ: 10 To the
intent that now unto the principalities and powers in heavenly places might be known by
the church the manifold wisdom of God,
Two: Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be
joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery:
but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
The angels can learn something about God ordained headship and authority from a properly
functioning matrimonial relationship for the matrimonial relationship is a picture in type of the
proper functioning of the church the body of Christ.
1 Cor 11:11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man,
in the Lord. 12 For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all
things of God.
Paul again reminds us in these preceding verses that the issue again is headship not leadership or
equality. In nature man cannot produce a woman as God did. It takes two to tango… so to speak.
Nature has a way of striking the balance for us. You cannot have a man without a woman and you
cannot have a woman with out a man -- in nature they are equal. And in Christ they are equal (more
on this shortly).
C. In Matrimony Man Is The Head
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he
is the saviour of the body.
1 Cor 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the
woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
D. In Domestics The Man Is The Head
Eph 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord.
E. In Economics Man Is The Head
1 Tim 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own
house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
F. But again "in Christ" there is liberty and
equality
Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor
female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
In Christ there is no special favor for RACE, PLACE, or GENDER. You are totally free to be all that
God has made you to be "in Christ"!
Please Note It Does Not Say… .Husband & Wife… This is because matrimony is a voluntary act and
in that act God has ordained, established and ordered the man to be the head.
** Those who have freely chosen to take the position as wife in a matrimonial
relationship are to yield, resign or surrender to the power, will or authority of their husband as
if he were the Lord Jesus Christ
Headship then is positional. (Leadership is earned) more later!
For headship to work someone has to be the body else the head dies or has no function. -- This
brings us then to the doctrine of submission.
Submission
1828 Dictionary - SUBMIT', v.t. [L. submitto; sub, under, and mitto, to send.]
To yield, resign or surrender to the power, will or authority of another;
Sub-mit means to send under. It has nothing to do with equality as we have demonstrated.
Sub - Mission is the result of being Godly Spirit Filled Saints - Eph 5:17 Wherefore be ye not
unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. 18 And be not drunk with
wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
Just like a drunk is controlled by the "spirits" he imbibes so the believer is to be under the
control of the Holy Spirit of God. When this happens a noticeable difference shows up in the life
and lifestyle of the believer. His attitude is changed. Again, God is not interested in changing
your personality, he is interested in changing you character. The Godly character that God requires
is the Godly character he supplies - Through Grace!
How's Your Attitude? :
19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in
your heart to the Lord; - 20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the
name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
Submission In The Body:
21 Submitting yourselves (in the Body not matrimony here ) one to another in the fear of
God.
Some bibles and commentaries connect verse 21 and 22 as if they are on the same topic. They are
not. Paul is again illustrating, I believe, the proper use of submission. We are to submit to one
another in the body of Christ.
This is a serious issue and we are to take heed how we treat one another in Christ. I should not be
taking advantage of those in the body (how much more then should the husband, or wife, not take
advantage of one another in the matrimonial relationship) of Christ. I know this because Paul uses
that fear word.
Grace folk, for whatever reason, just do not like to hear that word. The Greek word is the word
from which we get the word phobia. For example acarophobia is a morbid fear of small insects and
mites and worms and this is the way this word is used in the Word of God. It is alarm or fright as
we shall see.
Mat 14:26 And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled,
saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear. They were alarmed, they were
afraid, they were frightened.
Can we say then, that we should be alarmed, afraid, and frightened by how we treat someone in
Christ who has submitted themselves to us? Can we say that with headship comes great
responsibility?
Mat 28:1 In the end of the sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week,
came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the sepulchre. 2 And, behold, there was a great
earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone
from the door, and sat upon it. 3 His countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as
snow: 4 And for fear of him the keepers did shake, and became as dead
men.
These guys were literally scared (skeered = Tennessian) to death!
Can we say then, that we should be alarmed, afraid, and frightened by how we treat someone in
Christ who has submitted themselves to us? Can we say that with headship comes great
responsibility?
Gal 5:13 For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion
to the flesh, but by love serve one another.
Sub - MissionIn Matrimony ( A free will choice)
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
This is one of the results of being a spirit filled saint of the most high God! It is not
burdensome! It is finding your place, which you no doubt volunteered for, in Christ. What an
opportunity to take all you are in Christ and be that counterpart that help meet for that man of
God in your life. (now do not start with the yeah but's and the what if's we are talking about
Headship NOT leadership… leadership will come later in these studies)
** Those who have freely chosen to take the position as wife in a matrimonial relationship
are to yield, resign or surrender to the power, will or authority of their husband as if he were
the Lord Jesus Christ.
Illustration by Paul: Eph 5:23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as
Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour (knight in shining armor) of the body.
Saviour - A person who rescues you from harm or danger
The head is to be that person that rescues you from harm and danger. This is what we can expect
from our collective head the Lord Jesus Christ. He is our savior and the husband is to be the same.
Again this is headship not leadership. With headship comes responsibility.
Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own
husbands (twice) in every thing (in most things?).
Paul offers us another illustration… this time between the church the body of Christ and
Christ the Head. The church is to be under its head in everything. He has complete authority and he
has complete responsibility for those under him. Notice what he says to God the father concerning
the 12 in John 17.
John 17:12 While I was with them in the world, I kept them in thy name: those that thou
gavest me I have kept, and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition; that the scripture might
be fulfilled.
What Can We, The Church, Expect From Christ As Our Head Or Saviour?
With Headship Comes Responsibility!
We can expect:
Grace
Reasonableness, Respect, Righteousness
Acceptance & Access
Compassion, Cleansing & Correction
Edification, Education, Empowerment, Emancipation,
We can expect grace from Christ our head and the woman should be able to expect the same from her
savior, her knight in shining armor!
More later…
